Again, my apologies. I had planned to put plenty of comments here about recent events, but those recent events have now become history and I can barely keep up with what I see around me in this lovely land of ours. Quebec is having its strikes, charismatic killers, corruption, weird weather and general summertime blues. I am having extra work at the college, a growing bank account (should that be plural), and raw plans to finally find my own place. And yet, I feel stuck, trapped in my own groove, and wondering what to do next.
Yeah, I should not complain. Money is its own reward (ha, ha) and I am doing well with my students (at least, that is what their evaluations are revealing to me). I could do without certain colleagues and daily annoyances that comes with a Montreal summer (construction; return of more squeegee kids), but those are expected problems that I can handle. I just feel, though, that I may have missed a good amount of what life should be.
I value my solitude, but how valuable is it? I may not have written a note here or in any of my notebooks and files if I had spent so much time focused on developing a relationship with someone else beyond roommates and casual friendships (thank you, Facebook), but how do I know this? I did not have many role models for relationships. As a child, I knew that most of the marriages around me were out of convenience and old lust turned to indifference. No one around me was a romantic; there was no active pursuing of another in a way that Hollywood would recognize. I understood why this was so; I just did not want to be a part of it. And there is the problem.
Okay, you may be wondering about the photo: protest panda meets student squirrel during the recent protests. It is a nice and amusing pic, but also quite telling. When people, or costumed entities, are destined to meet, they will meet. And I know that I am not alone (certain blogs and talk shows have proven my point). I just wonder when I am going to meet that special squirrel (I mean, someone)...
Back to work...
