Back in Montreal, meaning that I am back facing some old problems. Those problems include lack of a phone (remedied today), lack of a car (am working on it), lack of privacy (soon about to find my own place without bearing afraid that I cannot afford it in the long run), and lack of contact.
That is the key, I think. Lack of contact. No one to really connect with. Not that it was much better when I was at home for two weeks. Family is family; you know what to expect from them. Love and perhaps an unending amount of patience (if there is some luck on your side). What I also found was that I was more willing to get rid of many of my old books, things read and unread; things that I thought I could learn from and now I am much better for pretending otherwise. A large midden of ideas and thoughts all stacked up by a bookcase that is still loaded with too many other ideas and thoughts.
Now, sex. Well, it is my own bedroom. My old teenage bedroom. Many a lonely and desperate day, night and long afternoon wondering if I would ever spend time in there with a girl (never happened). Of course, there was a guitar, books, and my own thoughts.
But that stack... If I am willing to give up one thing, does that mean I am willing to embrace something else? Is there change in the air?
2013, I see your raise...
